Master Your Presence

Alright, so you’ve started making decisions and taking control of your life. Congrats, that’s a huge step. But now it’s time to level up and make sure that the way you carry yourself matches the badass decision-maker you’re becoming. It’s time to exude confidence from the inside out.

First up, let’s talk about your attire. What you wear says a lot about who you are and how you feel about yourself. If you’re constantly showing up in ratty sweatpants and stained t-shirts, what kind of message do you think that sends? It tells the world that you don’t give a damn about yourself, and that you’re not worth investing in. But when you take the time to dress with intention, to put on clothes that make you feel good and look great, you’re telling the world that you mean business.

Now, I’m not saying you need to suit up every day or blow your entire paycheck on designer labels. But I am saying that you should put some thought into your appearance. Invest in a few key pieces that fit well and make you feel like a million bucks. Take pride in your grooming and hygiene. And most importantly, wear clothes that align with your authentic self. If you’re a creative type, rock those funky patterns and bold colors. If you’re more of a classic, timeless kind of person, stick with clean lines and neutral tones. The point is to dress in a way that makes you feel confident and powerful, like you can take on the world.

Next up, let’s talk about eye contact and speaking with a strong voice. These two things are so fucking important when it comes to conveying confidence. When you make eye contact with someone, you’re showing them that you’re engaged, that you’re listening, and that you’re not afraid to connect on a deeper level. It’s a sign of respect and self-assurance. And when you speak with a strong, clear voice, you’re telling the world that you have something valuable to say and that you’re not afraid to be heard. 

But here’s the thing – eye contact and a strong voice don’t come naturally to everyone. If you’re someone who struggles with social anxiety or feels awkward in conversations, it can be tough to muster up the courage to look someone in the eye or project your voice. But like anything else, it’s a skill that can be practiced and improved over time. Just start doing it. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. No excuses. 

Challenge yourself to make full eye contact during a conversation with one person each day. Practice speaking in front of a mirror or recording yourself on your phone. Pay attention to your posture and your breathing. Stand tall, shoulders back, and take deep breaths from your diaphragm. The more you practice, the more natural it will feel, and the more confident you’ll become.

Finally, let’s talk about filler words. You know the ones – “um,” “uh,” “like,” “you know.” We all use them from time to time, but when they become a constant in your speech, they can undermine your credibility and make you seem unsure of yourself. If you feel stuck, be silent rather than utter any of those bullshit filler words. So how do you break the habit?

First, become aware of when you’re using filler words. Ask your accountability partner to point them out to you or record yourself speaking and listen back for them. Once you’re aware of the problem, you can start to work on fixing it.

One trick is to pause instead of using a filler word. When you feel the urge to say “um,” take a breath instead. It might feel awkward at first, but those pauses can actually make you seem more thoughtful and deliberate in your speech. Another trick is to slow down your speaking pace. When you’re rushing to get your words out, it’s easy to default to filler words as a way to buy yourself time. But when you speak more slowly and intentionally, you’ll find that you have more control over your words and that the filler words start to disappear.

So there you have it – three simple ways to boost your confidence and master your presence. We will continue to learn more about these habits as we move along this process. Remember, the way you carry yourself is just as important as the decisions you make. When you show up fully, dress with intention, make eye contact, speak with a strong voice, and ditch the filler words, you’ll be amazed at how much more confident and self-assured you feel. I think you will be very pleased with the outcomes and results of those conversations as well. 

Keep practicing these skills every single day. Incorporate them into your interactions with your accountability partner, your colleagues, your friends and family. And most importantly, fake it until you make it. Even if you don’t feel confident at first, act as if you are. Stand tall, speak clearly, and dress like the badass you know you are. Eventually, the confidence will become real, and you’ll wonder why you ever doubted yourself in the first place.

Remember, confidence is not about perfection. It’s about accepting yourself, flaws and all, and showing up fully in every moment. So embrace your quirks, your imperfections, and your unique style. Be unapologetically you. Because when you choose to be confident in who you are and how you show up in the world, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish.

So go out there and strut your stuff. The world is waiting for you. SHOW UP and Let’s Fucking Go.